I felt and I wrote

When the pain turns into fire,it burns some and lightens some!

When you look up in a dark night, there are always some stars waiting for your gaze!

The silence of the night is so full of voices and expressions specially when the speaker is also the listener!

When pain breaks limits...it also brings out a HERO!

 

 

 

Two I's'..Two my's'

Two of my recent verses..

1.)

Slowly and surely..I am up there..
Where no one can hear,
the words I never spoke:
but they always existed in form of fire and smoke...
I know this has arisen to meet with sky,
and I feel nomore shy..
as I know there at least free spirits fly!!


2.)

Lost life ,wicked memories still play with my heart..
but I somehow know there is enough of all that is dark.

I aim the violets and I aim the reds,
I also look for all possible green..
This all is for just a little grin!

Burnt Heart

My heart burns...with memories and chances that never returns!!
whenever i stop for myself..
i see the unaccomplished trail!!!
and then mom's words ring in the ears...
lets use the pain to wipe off other's tears...

if there would be no burning there will be no light...
and now i know how our hearts ,in dark ,glow very bright!

Mind dweller ideas-where to go?

I wrote a story here sometime back and the new ones have not been published.Though i have many stories,but can't put all of them here for obvious reason[read-plagiarism;-)]..I am a budding story teller just waiting for my time to come for right platform and hence i published some of them for feedback and connection with people.

I must say,the outcomes so far have been good and I understood a little bit of my abilities.Last time,I was encouraged to write a film script for one of those stories and that took my energies.But I atleast understood and learnt new things in the process.

Right now,there are many ideas who have been hitting my head for coming out on blog,but they are too many to get fixed on plus my schedule leaves me with no time.

If I jot down some ideas,they would be as following;

1.Story of a super-premika(Lover lady,prem mallika..the titles are occupying more spaces than the main story)..where the protagonist is lady who is tirelessly in(to) love with one after another man and still is confused about new suitors who are out there win her heart(may be the men are suffering due poor sex ration of India)

2.Story of lad,who is independent and on verge of taking some big decisions of life.But misfortune seems to test his guts at those times and some weird,funny and ironical things happen.

3.Story of a new age Indian woman from a small town (married..of course) falls in love with a young guy despite having a love marriage and still claiming to believe in her husband's love more than anything .She is not accepting that she is enjoying the bachelor attention and other intricacies make her life funnily serious.Enters a soothsayer who is a kind of psychological guru help her regain normalcy of life but having a funny end.

4.Story of a man in late twenties who wants to relive his teen age because he could not live a normal and confusing teen years as he was maturing unwantedly and now wants to be solutionless to difficult situations and set his mind free.

Besides this I am also thinking to write about synchronicity of beautiful events turning into a big realization as per suggestion ofa friend.

Now I guess one of these would soon turn into a short story and get visible here.
The main challenge which i have understood till now is to constantly grow in way of story telling and make an impact.I guess this comes from my earlier attempts of story telling where i got good reviews and so i want to make sure that next one is atleast as good if not better.

People..here I come..

Cya next time!!

Super-premi!

De-de pyar de pyar de pyar de re,humein pyar de...I vividly remember this song from movie Sharabi.I must be around 4 years old when my sister took me to a show of this movie.And my fangiri/chamchagiri/admiration/blind following for Amita(bh) Bachchan started.And to my present memory,this is the song which introduced me to pyar-vyar ki kahani.

And years passed on,and I became witness to many love stories(including mine which would take birth in heart and die there only-mann hi mann ka prem..I must say i was always a shy guy and which never helped the matters).But is it another write up about my adventures(mis adventure) in love(prem)?No..this is story about my some people I came across till date and who were from the Super-premi club(which was coined by our core group of researchers...now please don't bother about this group if in case you choose to do so!!)

You must be wondering who are the super premis???

-A super premi is a one,who loves a gal(it is not silly,times have changed these days you see....)

-He smiles even if some one tries to instigate him talking about his pot belly/bad choice of shoes/dressing sense/weird behavior when the gal is around.Instead of getting the super premi angry or reactive,we would get irritated by seeing that smile with light tapping of cross legged feet(mand mand muskurahat).

-He talks bright/ambitious and to utmost surprise-sense.But the moment his gal will call,he will talk about all the crap stuff around and will talk the best gossips which can entertain the even the lazy oxen sitting in a pond,or a pig in piles of mud.

-He will buy the best of women's suits and whatnots, for his premika(lady),which can embarrass even the women who take pride in their choices.

-And the best part,even the lovelorn like us will think that this is what true love is in this beraham duniya which has forgotten emotions and love long time back..this guy will forget the lady,when she decides(she always decides!!and decides the same) to walk over/forget/walk out of life/separate(keep naming them,,,but I now call it destiny in surity ;-p) ,like a child forgets the table of 17 after hours of mugging and like we keep forgetting 'the child' within us.He will again use that sad story to gain sympathy and will again become a hardcore premi with another girl(of course the sympathy showing gal).

Now enough of categorization!!

An anecdote-There was a guy called Abhay,who loved Sanchita like mad.Abhay being a small town guy would find less spaces available to shower,power and hover the girl(like a see saw-doing some thing very weird activities with gal and mind it...no undertone of sex is here).He would take her to cybercafe which made huge profits even if when the server was down and internet was cut.Courtesy-these super premis.These cyber cafes have cabins to keep the net surfing confidential;-)....

Abhay's love for Sanchita would make me think emotionally about existence of true love(of course it must be existing,but this is story of super premis!! You see.)One fine day,I noticed Abhay's irritating smile ,when talking about his prem, was gone.I ,as usual, tried to know the reasons.I asked him to mail me what was bothering him if he felt uncomfortable talking about it.(I had just read a book,how to help when people can't express..haha).

He wrote me a mail,where he stated that Sanchita's father was finding a match for her and there was this jaat-paat ki deewar(caste difference for the purists!)And most importantly Abhay was in second year of graduation and not settled.So he was all teary eyed and it seemed that computer will short-circuit due to wetness of tears!!..Anyways reading that heart-wrenching mail,I met him in evening and consoled him.I told him that things were not under his control.That is different thing that nothing of that sort happened and their affair continued.Finally Abhay moved out of town for better opportunities and bagged a good job.Talking to him on phone,I would think 'he still loves Sanchita!'.

Again,I heard the same thing from him about Sanchita's father finding a guy for marriage.
This time Abhay was settled and ready to show his mettle!...But but but...Sanchita changed her mind midway,I don't know why and wanted to marry a rich guy who was choice of her father(I suppose the long distance played cruel with them).
I thought Abhay was gone this time.

I talked to some friends and asked them to take care of Abhay in that town.And I got to know that Abhay is showing strength,,but to my amusement,I heard that he proposed another lady who ,I must admit ,was much more beautiful than Sanchita and of Abhay's caste (I know you are smiling!).And let me tell you he did it only in 10 days of Sanchita saying no.I thought he was doing it in frustration,but when I spoke more with him and other common friends,I realized he had fallen for this lady (mann hi mann) long time back..and Sanchita's no was just his wishes coming true.

Anyways,that lady was just showing sympathy(as stated above in categories) and this guy took this as a road to another super prem.

Khair..errr...anyways..nothing happened but one day Abhay confided me bluntly that he loves this lady more than Sanchita and then I knew the mystery of super prem. Abhay was a charming guy again and as if nothing could take that irritating smile away from him.This lady said no 3 times to Abhay.

Then one friend told me that Abhay was now dating a marathi gal.I wished,may Abhay get his peace now!But again after two months,I got to know Abhay was getting engaged with another gal.He called me and told me the news,and I told him about my theories of super prem thinking that being a super premi has helped him get his love of life.....but GOD!!He fell in love with the gal who his mother has chosen and sent a picture of the gal to him for his feedback.
I was almost going to get the 'true love' deleted from known lexicons.He is now married and believe me the 4th lady is very beautiful.Rest Abhay and God knows.

This was a small story of a 'super-premi' I know!!

And I know I can be super but not super-premi!

Life in Roti !!

We meet people,love some of them and lose some of them.This is what we seem to feel when we think of life after a life(death).

Well we frame the story(short though) like this-

Characters-unknown(it can be anyone) but let's name them.

1.Balwinder(Who left this world)
2.Jaspreet(Balwinder's wife)
3.Ramu(Balwinder's assistant)
4.Diljeet (Balwinder's father)
5.The mother(let's not name the strongest word-mother)

The premise of the story starts with me.

I am going thru my professional and personal hassles in my day to day life.And I live alone in the city D where people are either too emotional or too practical.On a certain day of last month, I returned late from office .It was Tuesday and weekly bazaar was on(Mangal bazaar).

I find it very difficult to cook for myself when I am tired,but the wise words always ring in the ears to have home cooked food.I thought it was good to have some fresh vegetables from the bazaar and some groceries which are missing at my apartment(visiting people made me realize this).So I just threw off my formals and wore Pyjama -Kurta and left for the market.

I bought whatever I wanted to and when I was returning I realized it was 10.45PM and I was now too tired to cook food.So I thought of getting some food packed from a dhaba(eatery) nearby.[I have been to this dhaba earlier but found the owner and his assistant to be too busy to serve me properly.The assistant was a weird personality with a dash of arrogance,but I guess the master's (Balwinder) culinary skills saved from the woes and the business was in good nick as a result.]

I reached the dhaba and to my surprise, found no customers.There were sad looks on the face of Ramu(assistant) and two ladies(another surprise) sitting near the tandoor(big oven/burner).I saw an old man with a tinge of grief in eyes.I was amazed to see the condition and started wondering what happened to this busy dhaba.Well ,knowing my inquisitive mind,I overlooked the situation and ordered my food to be packed.

The same arrogant Ramu,didn't know why, suddenly spoke meekly that Balwinder was no more("Sahab nahi rahe!...") as if he understood my questioning mind and replied without I making an effort.And suddenly there was that extreme silence.I understood the reason of that deserted look of the dhaba.

It was ironical,but the same Ramu was all modesty and pain.

Well,this is life,as they say.I ordered my food with a little agony and distress seeing the loss of the world-which has an old father,the mother with moist eyes and the that disturbing emptiness in the eyes of Jaspreet which used to wait for the husband every night to return from work.I got my packet of food after 10 minutes but I was definitely leaving that place with a heavy heart.

Days keep passing and it might sound cliche, but life keeps moving on track of sorrow,happiness,loss,grief,betrayal and most importantly death.I was again very late one day and left for that dhaba to get my meal packed.

Now,the dhaba seemed a little lively(only a little) because it had got its new set of customers(the customers are less emotional it seems,older ones had stopped coming due to change in taste,hand and definitely the range of food items.The new items had Tawa roti instead of tandoori roti,less spicy items without their daily dose of butter,tadka..and many other reasons which were much of philosophical pondering).

The new set of customers included more people like me who stayed outside home,students and some working guys.

Still I could see-Jaspreet would always prepare food with those emotionless eyes clearly stating her condition of long life ahead with complexities which occurs in absence of master.The old man Diljit's face can be read,which shouts out the cruel fate of seeing the death of son who was world to them.

The mother doesn't tell much but she always steps in whenever Diljeet finds Jaspreet not acting swiftly(say getting the rotis ready early,or giving a little frying to dishes)She would ask her husband not to chide the daughter in law in front of customers who are only a few in number.

And we find Ramu missing from the scene,it seems the family could not afford his wages and he has left the work.Now the trio takes care of the dhaba with a hope-that we must live!!

After all, life ends with death and a new life starts after it!!I am atleast making sure that whenever I have to get my 'roti' packed,it is from them.The roti there is full of 'life' !

The Delhi 'Twang'

Well..with no offense to any soul and 'mind'..this note is about my observations in Delhi.

To start with,just for info..Delhi is (Pre) dominantly Punjabi (now that is some gyaan).


I had a filmy surrounding of neighbors back home(Muzaffarpur).I had Marwaris,Punjabis,Bengalis,Sunnis as my prominent neighbors apart from others.So I picked up quite a good words and mannerisms from all around(you see I was a keen observer since my bachpan:-))..

And there was this one Punjabi family who were very close to us and Ma would have padosi bahus all the time in vicinity without marrying her real sons.It was literally-the doors were always open to each other(obviously not the main gate of my house and please don't bother about the no .of doors ;-p)

And things changed(read perception) for all the language i claimed to know.Delhi was different..

Now I am going to point the 'twangs' ,I came across:


1.I entered a bus for the first time in Delhi and I heard an aunty asking the DTC conductor for a ticket.The conductor asked her to give change but she said-'Mere pas so (sau) rupain (rupye) hain.'I understood that sound 'a' would be 'ae' and 'o' would be 'au' for most of the words.

2.I asked for Pepsi one fine day(not fine but very hot) and suddenly saw a beautiful kudi also walking by and asking for 'Paepsi'..I got my second learning.

3.In Bihar generally everything will be spoken of as pu-ling(masculine gender),like-Bus aa gaya..
but in Delhi the lady rules(atleast for me)..saw some people using stri-ling(feminine gender) for water-pani thandi pilana(I must say these wrongs were mostly done by the confused lot,one of my friends and a lady from MP were the culprits).This mistake,I attribute to the Delhi 'twang' syndrome.

4.I had to meet a person of my knowledge for some work long time back.He asked me to join him at one of his acquaintances' place .This person whom I was to meet was also a good astrologer.I met him at the decided place and the bhai sahab and babhi ji(the acquaintances) were very warm and welcomed me.Suddenly I was part of their conversation and what I heard was unforgettable,it was legendary usage/coining of a word.The lady was talking about her problems and said-''Main aajkal ki 'ladiyon' (ladies) ki tarah nahi hun.Main respect karna janti hun..(i cant remember the full talk-but this 'ladiyon' was legend of sorts);p..

5.Was watching 'Oye lucky,lucky ye' in a theatre near my house,there was one scene in which Abhay Deol goes to the heroine's place and finds her elder sister only.The elder sister tries to seduce him with a sentence-''Main tere ko ' hot' (as in b'o'th) nahi lagti..it was a show of 10.45pm and believe my my whole row was disturbed when i fell off my chair laughing.

6.There is friend of mine(a lady)..she will try to pick slightest of pronunciation problems when you speak English..and in her jest to sound like a.....(you yourself fill in the blanks) she often ends up doing something bizarre..(Some them are hilarious)..But the moment she speaks Hindi,the 'twang' syndrome takes over.She would ask- 'Ore' ( aur) kya haal chaal hai?..'ore' batao..so(sau) baar bola unko..and like that..

7.There was one of the clients with whom I was on an informal meet recently.We went to Karim's for an evening snack when i was at his office in Noida.After the food,he just told-'This is the 'baest' (best) kabab,jo abhi tak khaya hai'..

And the 'twangs' continues to catch my attention..May be next time when I get some more anecdotes.